Pitt Gets an Oscar
An Academy Award is the most prestigious honor that any film, actor, or cosmetologist can be bestowed. Unfortunately, many college students are unable to see all of the Oscar nominated movies in the theaters (or find a torrent that hasn’t been dubbed over in Estonian). Here at Pitt Tonight, we strive to better the lives of the students at the University of Pittsburgh. Instead of having to see the movies yourself, we have re-imagined the films nominated for Best Picture into scenarios that Pitt students can relate to.
The Big Short – A group of avid sports fans and financially struggling students become rich by joining an underground gambling ring and betting against Pitt’s football team.
Bridge of Spies – Stuck in between a feuding couple, an aspiring Legal Studies major must cross enemy lines to negotiate a visitation schedule for the couple’s shared street cat, Tom Hanks.
Brooklyn – A young girl finds love after moving across the country to study at the University of Pittsburgh, but is conflicted when an old high school sweetheart messages her on Facebook and attempts to make plans to hookup when she returns for winter break.
The Revenant – After being trapped in a conversation with an anti-vaxxer handing out propaganda, one man must make the cross-campus journey back to his dorm alone and find the “friends” who left him for dead.
Mad Max: Fury Road – Two freshmen try to escape the oppressive work of Hillman and reach the fabled oasis known as Market. The only thing standing in their way is Forbes Avenue and its dangerous inhabitants.
The Martian – One student misses the 10A and must find a way to survive the treacherous elements until the next one arrives in fifteen minutes.
Room – A Lothrop resident must adjust to civilization after wallowing in their own loneliness and depression during a weekend of binge watching Netflix and crying into their daily order of Papa John’s.
Spotlight – The Pittiful News’ team of investigative journalists uncover a scandalous conspiracy concerning the reptilian new Chancellor, Patrick Galligator.
Make sure to hit up your friend who owns a television and tune into the Oscars this Sunday night at 7 p.m.. While you are doing that you should also keep an eye on our Twitter account, @PittTonight, because we will be live tweeting throughout the show. And the winner is…