Taking that Grade from a C to a B: Apologies to Professors

Now that the semester has concluded with the fervor of battle and your Adderall prescription has run dry, it’s time to sit back, relax, and apologize to your professor in the hopes of changing your final grade. It’s never too late! Here at Pitt Tonight, we have carefully crafted some perfect apologies to send to that special someone.

I’m sorry Dr. Marchi. I didn't mean to yell so much in your class, but my Yu-Gi-Oh! dueling partner is sitting on the other side of the classroom.

I'm sorry Dr. Dwyer; not for mistaking you for a medical doctor, but for asking your opinion on my hemorrhoids during office hours.

I’m sorry Dr. Klein for emailing you those nudes. I swear it was an accident. How is my grade looking for the end of the semester?

I’m sorry Dr. Minkoff for not submitting my argument homework. Can I just submit a conversation with my Dad instead?

I'm sorry Dr. Forrence. Bringing a parrot to class wasn't a good idea. Teaching it to say, “Philosophy PhDs are useless” was mean.

I’m sorry Dr. Stoll for coming up 3,000 words short on my essay, but if you count the pictures I’m 11,000 words over.

I'm sorry Dr. Kelly. I know the chemical wash showers are for emergencies only, but recreating the scene from “Flashdance” is an emergency.

I’m sorry Dr. Sauder for coming late to class…slashing your tires took longer than I expected.

I'm sorry Dr. Stavarski. You said no eating or drinking in the lab, but those cockroaches just looked so hungry.

I’m sorry Dr. Harnett for falling asleep…and asking if I could stay for breakfast in the morning.