Memorial Day Drink Recipes
Memorial Day weekend means family barbeques…and family barbeques means drinking to get through family barbeques. We at Pitt Tonight have some fun recipes to try to make those overcooked hotdogs and slimy pasta salads a bit more palatable.
Tongue Twister
To drink after you’re asked for the fifth time about your dating life and why you never bring a nice boyfriend home to visit.
3 parts whiskey
1 part orange simple syrup
1 part cognac
75 maraschino cherries
Mix the first three ingredients in a comically large margarita glass. Half-heartedly mix together, and put in all of the cherries. Every time you get asked about your lack of a partner, tie a cherry stem with your tongue, and remember what a catch you are. Spit all of the cherry stems into your judgmental cousin Tonya’s white wine.
Pail of Tears
To drink after the election gets brought up. Start chugging immediately because things will only get worse.
2 parts blue curaçao
1 bucket of all the other alcohol ever
Lemon wedge, for garnish
Put the blue curaçao in a shaker with ice. Shake and strain onto the ground - blue curaçao is way too weak to help you now. Take the bucket, and use an empty garden hose to create a siphon action straight into the back of your throat. Add the lemon wedge for a tasteful final touch.
Final Stretch
To drink when anyone asks what you are going to do with your degree after college or pretty much anything about how school is going.
3 cups ice
Sour mix
Tortilla brand tequila
8 gallons of white sugar
Put all ingredients in a blender. Blend until very smooth, or until you remember to turn off the machine. Drink the refreshing icy mixture, and let your body surrender to the shock of the absurd amount of sugar. Enjoy the rest of the night in a sweet glucose coma, and you’ll avoid all of those prying relatives once and for all.