What's In Your Backpack?
We ask regular students on the street and on the go, “What’s in your backpack?”
Ruthy McGintberger, Undecided, Class of ‘19
“I don’t really sleep a lot, so I always make sure to keep several bottles in my bag: Motrin to relieve my headaches, pepto-bismol for my indigestion, and a flask of whiskey to brush my teeth with each morning and night and also to drink. Then I drink more Pepto for my heartburn.
Now, I do have quite a few items in my bag, but I need all of it!! My Great Aunt Clara was a hoarder, but unlike her I’m not one because I don’t keep a collection of moldy tea kettles around, and don’t need the authorities to step in and remove me and my fifty cats! Haha, what a crazy lady Great Aunt Clara was!
I just have 5,000 McDonalds wrappers because I really think they make my backpack more homely.
And a traffic cone for decoration.
And a karaoke microphone.
And water bottles with rocks in them for the extra weight.
And a picture of Jesus made entirely out of coffee beans.
And a rat cage full of newspapers from 1963, you know, the year JFK died.
1,576 Chipotle napkins to use instead of notebooks. It sure helps me save money!
Every Billy Joel album on vinyl.
Bunny slippers and my Binky from when I was a baby. It reminds me of my sweet youth!
Bags of sweet potatoes. I lost count how many are in there, but oh boy do I love some orange starchy goodness!
Broken windows and mirrors. I really want to start getting crafty with them. I’ve been saying that for a while, but I’m sure I’ll get around to it soon.
Magic eight balls. I’m training to be a psychic. I’m gonna be the most famous psychic in all the land. Just the other day I thought I heard my Great Aunt Clara talking to me. And I was like, "Auntie?" and then she kind of mumbled which she usually does when she’s hungry and anyway, long story short, I have a gift.
A naked mole rat farm. Don’t you just like the way they look? Those cute little nudies? They’re like rats who decided to skip the clothes and start their own little nudist colony. How cute! I could snuggle them up all day! Put some butter on them and just snuggle them up!
Vintage alarm clocks supposedly touched by the drugged out PB&J hands of Elvis Presley. I used to travel across the country to go to hotels he stayed at so I could sleep in the same bed he did and really feel him.
379 Marilyn Monroe shower curtains – what a classy lady. I need these! They’re all the same, but if you look at them hard enough, you see something slightly different in all of her moles!
Vials for collecting hair. Every year I like to collect a bunch of my hair and put it in a vial just so I can compare them and see how much I’ve grown as a person!
Framed pictures of Stanley Tucci.”
Editors Note: Since publication, Ruthy will also be featured on hit show, Hoarders, air date TBD.