Career Fair Tips
It’s career fair season, so here are some tips to make sure you land the job/internship of your dreams:
Be personable. Ask the recruiter what they did this past weekend; then proceed to tell them how your weekend was much, much cooler.
You want your résumé to stand out, so have it engraved on a grain of rice. Make sure to bring many copies to give out, or save for a tasty snack.
Have confidence in yourself. After each conversation, high-five the next person you see and scream, “F*CKING NAILED IT!”
Make sure you use action words in your résumé, like, “develop,” “facilitate,” and “conquer.” Better yet, don’t “use” them—“optimize” them. And they’re not just “words,” they’re “communication synthesizers.” Aren’t résumés great?
Do research beforehand. Only apply to companies that give out free t-shirts.
Your résumé should tell a story. How about that time you got drunk with your friend’s parents? That’s a good one.
Exude charm and enthusiasm. Just don’t exude the burrito you ate twenty minutes ago.
Employers love a good sense of humor. When they ask you what kind of position you’re looking for tell them you’d prefer doggy style, but you’re pretty flexible. They’ll really get a kick out of it.
Most importantly, have fun. Long lines, awkward conversations, your entire future hanging in the balance—what more could you want?